First Post

Decided to start this blog. Maybe it will help me work through some of the emotions of everything going on right now. First off I'll give a little back ground. My husband and I have been trying to concieve since Feb. 2005 without success till this last year. It all started March 2009 when I hemorraged from my period and ended up needing 2 units of blood transfused. Because of that I was refered to a OBGYN to get some help on figuring out why this happened and to find out why I haven't been able to get pregnant. After many tests the only thing wrong was that I wasn't ovulating. Oh and I have PCOS and endometreosis but I already previously been diagnosed with that. Dr decided to put us on clomid and low and behold it worked the 1st round. We were so excited that it had finally happened. We got past the scary 1st trimester and thought we were home free till my water broke Sept 13. It was the scarest worst experience I have ever gone through. 5 1/2 months later and I'm still having trouble dealing with it. Since losing our son who we named Joshua James, we have done 3 more cycles of clomid, no of which ended with a pregnancy. I don't think I ovulated the 1st cycle but I know I did with the 2nd and 3rd. So not sure why I didn't get pregnant. I'm thinking it's either my CM isn't right cause I failed each time to have EWCM or else I'm too stressed. I just can't seem to relax no matter how hard I try. All I can think about is how bad I want a baby. I hope I'm not sabatoging myself. But it seems like the more time that goes by the worse it gets. I just hope it happens soon. We got to see a fertility specialist at the end of March. Nervous about that but hopefully we will find out some answers and will be able to finally get pregnant again.